Mumblings . . .

Emotional coherency is missing!

The past 47 days have been a plethora of events that leaves me wondering what this year hopes to carry out on my behalf. If 2013 wanted to break a strong woman, it was on the right path.

It all started on December 24th. Christmas Eve. Excitement is in the air, wrapping completed, cookies baked, and it is time to kick back, relax, gaze at the sparkling tree lights and read “Twas the Night Before Christmas”. Not for me. I was on the side of the road waiting for a ride after losing control on the icy, snowy road and slamming into the boulders, bouncing back, spinning around banging my head and coming to an abrupt stop and wondering what had happened!

The rest of my evening was spent sharing information with the sweet State Farm Claim Rep. in Texas. He must have been a newbie to have to work on Christmas Eve. I thanked him profusely for being there for me on Christmas Eve. Delusional.

It was a few weeks later when I realized I had a headache that would not stop. I am a woman who has to become debilitated before I take action to correct any physical infirmity, so the fact I ignored the pain in my head is not unusual.

A visit to my doctor and a CT scan proved a concussion, so bed rest. Bed Rest? What is that? Please explain, but I did listen and took a couple of days, took a couple of pills and the headache improved. I did not realize all the symptoms that go with a concussion. Anger, confusion, forgetfulness – kind of like being married:)

Certain now that life would return to normal, and I would go about 2013 . . . well, not quite.

On January 19, my oldest sister called with the news that Mom was very weak, very ill, and likely not to recover. I felt the fist in my stomach. I did not have the ability to comprehend this, even though I had lost my dad just over a year past. I took the rest of the day and went into the mountains where I found strength. I cried a lot and remembered much, and accepted that which was to be.

The next few days were a fog as decisions were made, goodbyes were said. Mom went to be with Daddy less than a week late


r on January 24. My mom was a good woman. She enjoyed the simplicities of life. Mom cared for her family, was generous with friends and welcoming to strangers. I will miss her, and my dad, for the rest of my life.

It takes days for it all to sink in, and I am not sure it has. Someone asked me how it felt to be an orphan. I had not thought about it, ever, in that way, but it is true. My parents are gone. I don’t feel so strong anymore.

I bring you now to this morning where I am home nursing a cold. There are places to go, people to see, and life to live. One foot goes in front of the other, and tomorrow I wake up, just like every other morning, and face whatever boulders jump out in front of me. What other choice do we have?

I am sure I am repeating myself, but my life is full. I have wonderful family, a precious Princess Zia, a challenging job, and many, many friends. I have attended my first meeting as a board member for The Fine Arts Guild of the Rockies, and this excites me.

Life Lesson . . . . Life happens. Detours come, but they do not define us. We get knocked off the rail, and we reach out for balance. Have patience with yourself. Remember your purpose. Fuel your passion. Be there for others. Accomplish what you are meant to, and love even the boulders because they teach us. I am wiser now.

Next week, I think it is time to introduce you to my man.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Randy
    Feb 10, 2013 @ 07:35:54

    You are a gifted strong woman. So sorry to learn of your loss.


  2. Stephanie
    Feb 10, 2013 @ 08:21:49

    You are a wondrous woman, Susan, strong and capable, and I am so happy to have you in my life. You brighten my days significantly. I love you!


  3. Terry
    Feb 10, 2013 @ 09:16:00

    Such a gifted writer! You have the ability to write from your soul….humor, sorrow, hope, discouragement…all human emotions expressed so beautifully. I can see a book in your future. As a lifelong reader, I would be in line to buy.


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