Not Afraid of Being Scared

Scared!If you know me even a bit, you know that I view every event in my life as an opportunity to learn and to understand, which is exactly why I write Simply Life Lessons.

Thinking that I am the Einstein of all the life lessons I share would be rather silly, because I know that everyone is on their own journey of learning and growing and living their own life lessons, even those who truly never get any of it.

For a life event to make sense, one must seek to find that golden nugget of wisdom hidden in the pain, suffering, tears, awareness, defeat, changes . . . Others may share their story, and you try to understand, appreciate, sympathize, and remember, but until you live out that moment for yourself, it is not real.

When I spend a brief second to ask, “Why me”, I really am looking for an answer. What am I to learn, to share, to take away from this experience?  An answer always comes.

An epiphany one day revealed that if I share and learn from what I am going through, then this life of mine would not be for naught. For there to be no purpose to the things I have experienced would be a tragedy in itself. I liken it to a scientist who does years and years of research, with trial after trial after trial. Even if his discovery does not save the planet, his work, failures and successes, only matter after he makes his findings known.

One morning, at 2:30am, after days of needing to know why I was faced with a debilitating health challenge, my answer told me that what was scaring me may actually be what would saves me because nothing speaks serious like being scared.

I haven’t admitted or acknowledged it often, but, I was scared, and being scared demanded my action.

Never doubt it. The rubber always meets the road. The chickens always come home to roost.

I have pointed out in other postings that I have not done a stellar job of taking care of myself. I’ve allowed my life to be filled with stress, cigarettes, drinking, unhealthy eating, inactivity, toxic people, and the price I pay could be very high, but what I came to realize at that early hour, is that being scared can be a good thing.

Many people of the Christian faith come to their decision to follow Christ because they are scared. Who doesn’t want to go to Heaven? And many lives have turned around with a heart attack or stroke. Some have written about being thankful for cancer because of how it positively changed their lives, and the soldier in the fox-hole who is scared beyond my understanding, makes promises and commitments for a lifetime that may not have happened if he hadn’t been scared.

Why be afraid of being scared?

I laugh out loud now writing this because being a private person, I am not ready to share my particular challenge, and it truly is irrelevant to this post, but is it possible to be private and transparent, too?

Since beginning this post, I have learned that I am fine.  After medical testing, evaluations and trial and error, I am more sure of what is before me. For now, just know that in the scheme of things, my challenge was nothing to cry about, just a reason for change.

I will never stop learning which gives me the privilege of being imperfect. I change what I can, sometimes, and accept what I can’t change, sometimes, and still struggle to know the difference.

I never knew being scared could be so promising.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dachsielvr
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 05:27:59

    I nodded my head in the affirmative the whole time I read this. Knowledge is empowerment. I have always been an OCDer, control freak and Fixer Extraordinaire. Then came the moments over the years where it was made blatantly clear that I had to seek professional advisement. You are on the right path…keep on walking dear friend. Love you.

    getting nowhere fast and was tired of
    being judge and jury


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    Sep 20, 2013 @ 12:41:08

    Great Article! I’ve been searching for this tonight and sooo want to get an email or the updates for this article. Stay in touch!


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